Where Was I?

I have a question...

Where was I when God was handing out lives? Was I in the bathroom? Was I too busy checking out the hott geek standing next to me? Or maybe I had my nose stuck in a book. Which ever the case is, I somehow wasn't available for the fine pickings. I can truly say at this point that life just doesn't make sense to me. I am completely in shock at the way things have turned out. How is it that we can wish, dream, hope, pray for something wonderful, but it just seems that it's never going to happen?

I want to believe. I want to believe that there is something better out there. That I haven't been completely forgotten. It just becomes increasingly difficult. Now more than ever I need serenity. I'm not sure how much more my lifeless hollowed out heart can take. It's empty. Maybe it will become a petrified rock. Solid. Hard. Cold. Maybe the rest of my body will give way to the inevitable. It will slow down and become nothing. Nothingness sounds good right about now. It's painless. I don't need the pain to know that I'm alive. I'll take seconds of nothingness. It will compliment my loneliness quite well.